First of all, NO UNSOLICITED DICK PICS.
Questions are a good jumping off point, but don’t be a dead-weight sexting partner who only asks questions and makes the other person do all the work.
Start by talking about the last time you guys had sex or some particularly hot memory.
It’s an easy way to get things going. A casual “Remember how hot last night was?” goes a long way.
FOX / Via gifsgallery.com
And don’t skimp on the details!
Tell me exactly where your hands, lips, etc. are gonna go, and what they’re gonna do.
Ease into it. Sexting needs foreplay too.
Don’t start a sext by jumping in headfirst. Start slow. Foreplay is important even in the imaginary world.
Comedy Central / Twitter: @SexualGif
Take all the necessary precautions for sending ~nudez~.
Never show your face. Ever. Also, whenever you send a nude, consider putting a different watermark on the picture when you send one to a different person. That way, if it ever gets exposed or somehow ends up on social media, you know exactly who did it.
(Pssst, here’s a guide to safely sending your nudes.)
Paramount Pictures / Via buzzfeed.com
And never send unsolicited nudes!!!
@str8boytexts / Via Twitter: @str8boytexts
Use Boomerang to make sexy GIFs as a break from pics or videos.
The only thing better than a sexy video is a sexy GIF. Super fun. I call them sexy boom-booms, but that’s just me.
Or send voice notes — in WhatsApp, for example — since it can be more intimate to hear each other’s voices.
Try replacing “want” with “need.”
Read erotica or NSFW fic to get ideas for how to write about sex.
It also can help you come up with roleplay ideas or fantasy scenarios.
Rebecca Hendin / BuzzFeed
Maybe don’t spring something on your partner if you haven’t talked about it before, especially if it’s kinky or ~out there~.
My biggest sexting tip is to get to know what they like, so that when you’re in the mood, your kinks don’t put them off. Take three minutes to just ask them what they are into.
Reference the specific little things you know they like, not just things that turn *you* on, and they’ll probably follow your lead.
That way you’ll be focusing on getting each other hot, while also getting turned on yourself. It’s not nearly as fun or enjoyable if each person is only talking about things that give them pleasure.
But also, don’t pretend to be into something that you’re not just for sexting purposes.
Do what YOU’RE into. Don’t try to appeal to someone else.
CBS / Twitter: @rosepetalqueen
Feel free to fudge the truth a bit, like saying you’re naked when you’re actually sitting around watching Netflix in sweats.
A girl can multitask!
FOX / @the_mermaid_lagoon / Via me.me
But also make an event of it if you want to. Like, go all in.
I really like to set the mood when I’m texting. Like, crawl into bed naked with a vibrator and my girl’s sexts. I’m not above lighting a candle either.
HBO / Via octopussoir-.tumblr.com
Use language that you normally use already, otherwise it’ll probably sound forced and take you out of it instead of ~feeling it~.
Don’t suddenly broaden your vocabulary.
Go easy on the emojis.
One or two placed in the right situation? Yeah, okay, it can set the tone. But I really, really do not need every message punctuated with peaches, eggplants, and winky faces.
Reread your texts before you send them, because typos can reeeally kill the mood.
Once I was having a pretty heated sexting convo. But once he said he couldn’t wait to “duck me hard,” it pretty much ended right there.
Give lots of compliments, but make sure they’re realistic.
Don’t talk about what a huge dick he has if he doesn’t have a huge dick, you know? It ruins the moment because it’s obviously a lie.
Beware of rereading your texts later when you’re not ~in the mood~ anymore.
I have said some verrrry graphic things in the heat of the moment, and then the next day felt like I could die. Like, “Haiii, can I borrow your phone real quick so I can delete that shit I said?” Yikes.
Fox Searchlight Pictures / Twitter: @bryanlicious2
And last but not least, always double-check who you’re texting.
Trust me. I found that out the hard way.
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.